You have no items in your cart. Want to get some nice things?
Go shopping
One lesbian, three gay guys and a token straight bloke make up “Barely Athletic”, a five-a-side footie team who lack any footballing ability, and are well and truly beaten by Trannies United, their stiletto-shod opponents. Jumpers For Goalposts, Tom Wells’s latest play at the Bush Theatre – his follow-up to his winningly warm 2011 breakthrough The Kitchen Sink at the same venue – is a theatrical hot water bottle for a cold cynical south London heart like mine. I spent the duration of the play weeping out of one eye while simultaneously rocking with laughter: the perfect incarnation of a Greek tragi-comedy mask. A pretty sight, I am sure.
While I was indeed won over, there were times at which the play hovered dangerously close to heaping one too many spoonfuls of sugar into an already sweet enough cup. This may be a question of regional sensibility. In previous interviews, Wells has commented: “In London, I think it’s seen as quite brave to write a play with a heart. It can be intimidating to put your heart on your sleeve down here, because there’s a more knowing audience.” I completely agree – especially as I find it increasingly difficult to reduce the audibility of my hard-hearted London snigger even when no one else is remotely laughing. However, I don’t think us Londoners are scared of emotion. It’s more that we just like things to get messy – and messy this play ain’t.
Even when the subject of HIV is bought up, it simply causes a schoolboy sulk rather than a deeper delve into the weightier topic of sexual safety, fear and taboo. This play keeps things lighter than an Aero. Similarly the rather less enticing sub-plot of the dead wife of the unfit nice guy Joe – who was also the sister of vitriolic coach Viv – hangs in the background with a rather contrived and slightly clichéd notion of Sunday flower graveside visits. This character arc never fully develops, perhaps because Viv is a “coper”, as she puts it, but perhaps also because this play doesn’t do loud noises – instead it blankets the big issues and lets rip on big laughs instead, including an ingenious physical door gag that could give One Man Two Guvnors a run for its money.
The Kitchen Sink was a play crowned by its ensemble cast – the tender dynamics between good-natured, likeable characters whose existence off-stage it was easy to imagine. Jumpers For Goalposts continues in the same vein: its actors represent a stellar array of comic turns and acutely realised characterisation. Vivienne Gibbs’s Viv is a Jack Russell of grief, yapping at the heels of her team, never letting up. This is resonant, too, in Philip Duguid-McQuillan’s Luke, whose stutter and tic-like eyeball rolling at his own inadequacies and vocabulary from Mizz magazine is convincingly borderline OCD. Completing the comedy set is Andy Rush’s loveable rogue characterisation of Beardy who does some beautiful eye acting behind a can of Tizer.
The most impressive turn, however – in its sheer subtlety and grace – is Jamie Samuel’s portrayal of Danny. Jamie has form with Tom Wells – he played the plumber, Pete, in the Hull Truck production of The Kitchen Sink – and here it is he who best proves Wells’s message: that to make an impact, you don’t need to show off or be “naff”; you just have to be honest. As Danny’s face crumples into silent tears we see that this play can pack a punch, only it chooses to do so in the same vein as its political message – with quiet fortitude. This is why it is apt that the play ends with Beardy finally finding his Hull Pride X Factor stylee audition song – “You’ll Never Walk Alone” – which serves to remind us that this play is about the teamwork still required from all of us, to make sure that homophobia isn’t swept under the Gok Wan-inspired carpet.
The set by Lucy Osborne was a convincingly drab and mucky changing room: tight enough to fit snugly around our team of everyday heroes, creating a semi-haven of possibility for fumbling lovers, frank chats and goalie practice. I wasn’t completely sure of the sound design, however, finding some of the levels a little jumpy; similarly, the song choices felt rather too random, a hodgepodge of eras and recognisability. Most of this, admittedly, may be down to taste and/or teething problems. Perhaps the “jukebox in my soul” – just one example of some of the brilliant one-liners Wells comes up with – was not in tune with that of the play?
Subtle in parts, bursting with humour in others and overall a study in characterisation and team spirit, Jumpers For Goalposts is a truly British drama. Its ninety minutes of comedy gold make it the ideal play for misers like me who sometimes need reminding that humour is just as powerful as a good tackle. With its buoyancy, feeling and its pervasive soundtrack, it’s not too much of a stretch to imagine Richard Curtis buying up the rights – in which case, go to the Bush so you can say you were there at the beginning.
Jumpers For Goalposts continues at the Bush Theatre until January 4. See the theatre website for more information.
About Phoebe Eclair
Loves theatre, straddles the worlds of Battersea Arts Centre and the Royal Court by day, tries her best to write plays at night. Star struck by Enda Walsh and wishes she was best mates with Simon Stephens. Best moment to date: being a Pussy Rioter for E.V.Crowe. Oh and if you ever want a long winded discussion on feminism down a pub - she's your woman.
